|One of the trails I run on at the local park.|
But yes, I still am trying to find the creative energy to make something (besides the soap for the SOAP Panel) lately, and have been for about a month now. I thought I might try to force it, because I want to keep the blog active and keep the few readers I have entertained. Forcing it is not the answer though, I don't think. When I try to , tell myself I have to make something to put on a blog post, nothing happens. All of a sudden it feels more like a job instead of something I do because I want to do it, or I need to do it, for my peace of mind. That is something I definitely do not want my creative time to become, something I have to do instead of wanting to do. So, I am assuming that my brain/muse/creative side just needs a break. Since my second year in law school I have been barreling through the creative world, learning a new hobby, going nuts with it, and then learning the next. Always making something while planning the next two projects in my head. It has been the perfect de-stressor, something to make my brain stop ticking through work to do lists, various issues I worry about (the downfall of Type A's), and all the other things that float through my head. It kept me sane during my husband's depression, law school, work and studying for the bar exam. But, right now, I think I just need a reset, a complete creative shut down for a while to let myself regroup and refresh. Just some time to look at pretty things on Pintrest, read Sherlock FanFic, and let all these little inspirations just muck around in the back of my head till something pops out.
The good news is that my little creative funk is giving me the time to focus on something else as equally as important, my health. My smoking is down to just a few a day, usually at night after work (the stress of the job promotion still being up in the air is a large part of this). I have lost appx 15lbs. And, most awesomely, I am working out regularly again. Not just a few little walks just so I can say I did something, but strength and aerobic sessions that leave me out of breath, all sweaty, and sore the next day. I totally forgot how much I, dare I say, missed, those. The absolute feeling of accomplishment and power rushing through me when I drag my out of shape body through one of those like I did today.
Tomorrow I plan on trying to start running again. I actually miss running. I can't believe I said that but it's true. I hate it when I am doing it, but it always amazes me when I do it, because when I started working out in 2009 I could barely run for 10 seconds. Not an exaggeration at all. By 2011, I ran a 5k. Me, a 5K. At this point I am not sure if I will be able to run one of those any time soon. My bad leg always gives me trouble if I push myself to much, and of course, one wrong move can make my back go out for weeks at a time. But, I do want to try to build my strength in my core and my leg back up (which I think will help with the nerve problems and back issues), so I am starting from the beginning. I am not going to try to run like I was pre-leg issues. I am going to go back to my little Couch to 5K app, and start like I did when I could barely run for those dreadful, painful 10 seconds. I am going to continue my kick boxing and strength work outs and savor the feeling of sore muscles. I am going to continue to work on my smoking habit. And hopefully, soon, all of this exercise will kick start my muse, or at least give me stamina to chase her down and kick box her into submission.
What is going on with you guys lately?